Openers
1. she jumps up and down in a fit of joy
2. In a moment of folly, he steps hard on the accelerator to test his own driving prowess.
3. she slams the breaks as the car rolls downhill
4. they are in the mist discovering a new cure for the disease
5. cries of distress and moans of pain flood the air, merging with the smoky scene to create an almoost surreal setting.
6. As he rouses himself from his confusion, he would not be floored by the situation.
7. we were cheered by the news that haze has canceled school for the next two weeks
8. the big bully walks up to john and gave him a huge punch on his face
9. the echoes of her ear piercing scream is still ringing in Lucy’s ears
10. the experience of the horrible accident , is still playing over and over in her head.
11. she let out a huge sigh of relief, tears were rolling down her burning cheeks.
12. in deep thought , Ron makes his final decision, he places his foot forward and tip over the ledge.
bobdagreat replied:
October 31, 2006 at 8:01 am. Permalink.
bobdagreat replied:
The big bully walks up to John and gives him a huge punch in his face. John staggers back in a shock. His eyes start to fill with tears, his jaw rigid and fist clenching as pain slowly sears across his cheeks already burning from embarrassment. Bending down to pick up his broken spectacles, anger starts to set into him. John looks up and stares hard into the Michael’s eyes with intense hatred that gradually penetrates every inch of his small body. Veins appear at the side of his head; his body now shaking from feeble attempts to control his emotions. A flicker of fear flashes across Michael’s face. Silence seizes the playground. John wipes away the blood dripping from his nose and straightens up, his gaze still forcefully fixed on the bully all this while. “How can I walk away again?”, John thinks. He takes a step towards the bully and to everyone amazement, big and burly Michael steps back. John moves forward again, knowing of the worst could happen. The bully stands his ground this time. John moves forward once more, his face now only inches from Michael’s. He can feel Michael’s heavy breaths. “Walk away.” a voice speaks in John’s head. His eyes start to hurt from his unblinking stance. “Walk away!” it repeats again. Finally, John softly utters into the Michael’s face with the utmost pronunciation he could muster, “I am not going to degrade myself like you.” He walks away; his black belt unknowingly dangles from his unzipped backpack.
November 3, 2006 at 7:21 am. Permalink.
misterryan replied:
You’re still working to master the present tense in your writing. I can see the creativity in the sentences though. Nice work.
November 5, 2006 at 4:54 am. Permalink.